i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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