theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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