Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
