he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
