Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
