DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
