You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
