Is it normal to miss your booty call?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
