i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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