You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just come out here and I will go home with you...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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