apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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