I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my liver is dry heaving
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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