To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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