My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my being single is dangerous.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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