Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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