I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
