i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize