Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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