Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
