After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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