She is in my trunk
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
