Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
