eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize