OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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