Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
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I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
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That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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