I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
