What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
