another moral hangover. fuck.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
