Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
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Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
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If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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