my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
