Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize