apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
