porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
