No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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