Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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