The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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