Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
