whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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