my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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