the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
