someone threw a dead crab at me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
