At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
