I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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