the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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