i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
