I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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