currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize