But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
