Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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