I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
