Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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