she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
