First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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