Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
