feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think your dad took our porno
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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